Nipplegate 2012: Concluding Thoughts.
I think it’s time that we begin a global discussion focusing on Disney’s blatant disregard for nipple consistency.
As we’ve established, Aladdin doesn’t have any nipples.
It’s weird.
But what’s weirder is that there is no nipple continuity in any Disney movies.
Triton is allowed to have nipples.
So is Shang.
And so is Tarzan,
but as you can tell by Jane’s face, I think his being shirtless is the least of our worries.
David has nipples too, and a tattoo which is pretty nifty.
We’re not even going to get into Zeus’ weird as shit Cinnabon shaped nipples.
However, Kocoum isn’t allowed to have nipples, unless, as previously suggested, Disney believes that he had to earn his in battle.
I’m like 90% sure Quasimodo doesn’t have nipples, but I also think there are bigger issues here than his nipples.
Characters in Peter Pan are also nippleless, but that movie was made in 1950 so the entire nation was probably trying to deny the existence of nipples.
Gaston also doesn’t have nipples unless they’re concealed in his chest hair and honestly I don’t want to look.
Lastly, I have yet to find photographic evidence but apparently characters in Atlantis do not have nipples, at least Milo doesn’t.
My friends, I think we have stumbled on something bigger than us. Is Disney trying to send us messages via nipple omission? Can these animators be trusted? What does it all mean?
Only time and shirtless musical dance numbers can tell.
