crumplesnacks:

some chapters for my upcoming book, “scandal in belgravia can suck my dick”

• irene adler LOSES.
• irene adler loses BECAUSE OF HER BONERS FOR A DUDE.
• irene adler identifies as a lesbian and loses because of her boners for a DUDE.
• irene adler loses and is RESCUED BY THE DUDE SHE LOST TO BECAUSE OF HER BONERS.
• sherlock is a little confused by what MIGHT be boners (or emotions or meeting an adversary idk??) but in the end he USES A WOMAN’S BONERS AGAINST HER BECAUSE SHE, A WOMAN, IS CONTROLLED BY HER EMOTIONS.
• this woman controlled by her emotions is ONE OF THE ONLY MAJOR DAMN FEMALE CHARACTERS.
• MRS. HUDSON AND MOLLY RETAIN MORE AGENCY BY THE END OF THIS EPISODE THAN IRENE ADLER IT IS THAT BAD (½)
• THIS WHEN IRENE ADLER WAS THE FIRST ADVERSARY HOLMES CAME ACROSS IN SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE’S ORIGINAL STORIES WHO COULD AND DID BEAT HIM. (2/2)
• WHY DO YOU BRING UP THAT JOHN WATSON MAY HAVE FEELINGS FOR SHERLOCK HOLMES BEYOND THE PLATONIC AND NEVER EXPLORE THAT FURTHER YOU QUEER BAITING SHIT.
• OH PS THIS EPISODE WAS POORLY CONSTRUCTED FOR CHARACTER AND RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT SO IT’S ACTUALLY A SHIT PIECE OF WRITING TOO
• AFTERWARD: FUCK YOU