Hello, friends! You may be interested in donating blood, and you should (if you are eligible)! But there are some things that you should or shouldn’t do. Take it from me, a phlebotomist.
- DON’T FUCKING MOVE YOUR ARM ONCE THE PHLEBOTOMIST HAS MARKED IT/FOUND YOUR VEIN
It moves your vein, so we have to either re-palpate and mark or else we fucking miss and it hurts you and it’s annoying
- DON’T IGNORE US IF WE TRY TO TALK TO YOU
Like, we actually don’t fucking care how many kids you have or where you like to fish, but we need to engage you to make sure that you are oriented, aware, and not experiencing any reaction to the donation. It’s important.
- DON’T TOUCH THE NEEDLE, DON’T TOUCH THE TUBING, DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING
We have stuff set up in a specific way. Plus, some equipment is considered sterile, and if you touch it we have to throw it away. A blood donation kit can cost 70.00 USD, a platelet kit can be over 300.00 USD. Don’t make us waste time and money.
- DO EAT A FUCKING SNACK
- When we tell you to get something to eat or drink and wait around in the snack area, it’s not just being nice or whatever, we really prefer keeping an eye on donors because you can fucking pass out or vomit or die as a reaction to donating blood and we can help you. Besides, you should be planning for about half an hour to 45 minutes for your donation, so just sit the fuck down for 5-10 minutes.
- DON’T YELL AT US
Guess what? If you’re rude or harassing us, we can permanently defer you. Yeah. You could never donate again if you decided that the person doing your screen or draw is going to be your punching bag of the day. Fucking douchebag.
- DO BE HONEST
Answer any questions we ask you truthfully and to the best of your abilities. If you don’t know why we need to know something, ask us! We can tell you why it is relevant. If you don’t tell us something and we find out later, it’s a TON of paperwork for us, we have to contact the recipient of your blood, it is SCARY for the recipient because they don’t know if they could be at risk for something because you lied, and we might permanently defer you for something that would have just been a short deferral.
- DON’T BRAG ABOUT HOW YOU’RE GOING TO ANOTHER CENTER.
We deferred you so you’re going to the American Red Cross instead? I literally don’t give a single shit. Every single person that has done this has been a nightmare in some way, they can deal with you shit, just fuck off.
- DON’T BEND YOUR ARM
Why do you even need someone to tell you this? There is a giant metal needle in your arm, if you bend it, you are going to shred your vein and maybe poke a tendon and maybe even puncture a damn artery (WHICH WOULD MEAN WE HAVE TO SEND YOU TO THE FUCKING EMERGENCY ROOM YOU SHIT). Keep your goddamn arm straight until the needle is out.
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