i-sauntered-vaguely-downwards:
Imagine Cecil being non-binary. When Carlos says “I’ve never been with a man before”, Cecil cheerfully remarks, “That’s okay, I’m not a man!”.
He then has to explain that genders aside from male and female are no big deal – in fact, Night Vale has twelve officially recognized genders, as well as an ominous, quasi-recognized thirteenth gender, silently accepted by the City Council. We do not speak its name: it is only known as That Most Forbidden And Ancient. Pronouns are unpronounceable by anyone not well-versed in the long-forgotten language of the Dead Gods.
As a side note, the City Council would like to remind you that misgendering someone in Night Vale is punishable by death.
I bet they keep adding officially recognized genders too. Like I bet there’s 12 right now (and well the 13th because can’t have anything in night vale without throwing something creepy as shit in there too) because those are the genders people are. and when someone comes around with a different gender that is not one of those 12 BAM! new officially recognized gender.
no mess, no fuss just ‘your gender does not fit those on the list’
’no’ ‘okay then we’ll add to the list’– Leon
Listeners!
Today the City Council (speaking all in unison) issued a routine proclamation on behalf of the Morrison family. It seems that the bright young honor roll student who we have, until now, known as a boy named “Jasper Morrison” is actually a girl named “Jasmine Morrison”. The Council has officially attributed this mistake on behalf of Night Vale Residents to another of those pesky mass hallucinations, and has offered a formal apology to Jasmine who bravely brought the illusion to the attention of the Council, thus earning her very first stamp on her Alert Citizen card! When she’s old enough to drive, that will be a great start! Congratulations, Jasmine! As a reminder, Any citizens who continue to refer to Jasmine as ‘Jasper’ or use the words ‘he, his’ or ‘him’ in reference to Jasmine will be subject to re-education. If anyone is having trouble shaking the hallucination and persists in seeing Jasmine as a boy, they should seek medical treatment immediately or have a member of the City Council howl at them if they are of the olden faith, and do not believe in modern medicine. But don’t be too worried, Listeners! These things do happen occasionally – the important thing is that we’re all seeing clearly now.
Except for maybe Steve Carlsburg. UGH. You remember, right listeners, the last time this happened? I’ll bet Mikey Holdover remembers since zie had to deal with all that terribly rude and invasive arguing at PTA meetings until the Sheriff’s Secret Police set Steve Carlsburg straight. Great job, secret police… it’s always good to know you’re here watching over us and protecting our children from people who just can’t let go of a delusion when it’s pointed out to them. Hopefully they’ve broken Steve of his disturbing obsession with doctors and bathrooms and, most importantly, children’s genitalia… I ask you, listeners, what kind of sick person spends so much time worrying about the genitalia of children? And I mean, I have nothing against doctors. I think we all know I like science as much as the next person since I am, after all, dating a scientist, the most perfect and beautiful scientist who would never EVER dream of being half as rude and patronizing and dangerously subversive as Steve Carlsburg who, I will remind you Listeners, doesn’t even have a degree in any scientific field. The problem with doctors and with SOME scientists is that they act like science is the only possible explanation for anything. Which is just narrow-minded, right listeners? Doctors have never recognized the potential of the Olden Faith or the existence of the moon children. I’m told most doctors even believe in mountains. But my principle quarrel here isn’t with the beliefs of doctors, dear listeners. I think doctors should be free to believe as they like as long as they keep their beliefs to themselves. It’s one thing to deny reality, but when your denial takes the form of verbally harassing and embarrassing and hurting the feelings of one of our young people who is just trying to assert zir true identity in the face of persistent mass hallucination, well that’s just too far.
Other towns may hold with new-fangled ideas about the supremacy of organs, chromosomes, and shining souls of pure, genderless light, but here in Night Vale we hold to old-fashioned, traditional ideas, like if someone says they’re a girl then by golly, they are a girl.
Also, shut up, Steve. What a jerk.
As a reminder, Jasmine enjoys Cheerleading for the Night Vale Spiderwolves, competition marksmanship, and has recently earned her third mastery degree in municipally approved witchcraft which is two whole years above her grade level! Congratulations, Jasmine. Thanks for promoting school spirit and helping to make Night Vale’s spirit squad so vastly superior to Desert Bluffs’! Because let’s face it, listeners… they’re terrible. Just terrible.
IT GOT BETTER
she got her first stamp on her alert citizen’s card for noticing her gender oh my gosh hearteyes
why is Nightvale such a gr9 fandom
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