jacksonwolf:

pewpewlazernipples:

nottheshepardyourelookingfor:

gay8:

they’ve been here…………

#touches the ground#it is still warm and there are dorito crumbs spread around#the stench of men’s rights in the air

*stands up slowly* *sniffs air*, “the stench is still strong” you whisper to yourself. You feel eyes from the other end of the aisle. Cautiously you turn around to see a white cis male in a black fedora and an ironic t-shirt with a meme reference.

“Hello” The brony squints “I see you’ve found the reminder I’ve left for you”

“Reminder?” you say, confused

“REMINDER THAT I DON’T BELONG IN THE FRIENDZONE” all of the sudden the brony does a magical girl transformation but nothing changes. He takes off his fedora, revealing another fedora. He throws the fedora at you. “I’LL SEND YOU TO THE FRIENDZONE” he shouts

You dodge the fedora “Good that’s where I want to be. The friendzone”

He continues to throw fedoras “I. DON’T. WANT. TO. BE. IN. THE. FRIENDZONE!!!” His eyes glow red

“I THOUGHT FRIENDSHIP WAS MAGIC” you cry out as you dodge fedoras

All of the sudden the brony stops. His arm fall to his side and the fedora tumbles out of his hand to the ground. Slowly, he lays on the ground in fetal position.

“You have used my own logic against me” and with that he fades, slowly disappearing into thin air. You turn back to the shelf just in time to see the fedora begin to fade into thin air. There’s a note on the fedora. You pick it up. 

There’s a message written in cheeto dust “I’m a nice guy” reads the note. You crumple up the note and throw it in the nearest recycling bin.

This story is amazing