HOLD ON.
LET ME JUST TELL YOU GUYS SOMETHING ABOUT THIS GODDAMN GAME. THIS IS A GAME OF LIES.
THIS GAME IS CALLED FLAMING FINGER. YOU USE YOUR FINGER TO GUIDE A LINE THROUGH A MAZE AND IF YOU DO IT WITHIN A GIVEN TIME LIMIT. THE MORE PEOPLE PLAY AND DON’T WIN, THE MORE TICKETS THAT GO INTO THE JACKPOT (AS SHOWN BY THE 100 IN THIS PICTURE).
THIS GAME. FUCKING. CHEATS.
AS YOU GET CLOSER TO THE END, THE TIMER SPEEDS UP. GET AN INCH FROM THE END WITH FIVE SECONDS? NAH. THE TIME RUNS OUT BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN BLINK. BUT YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO IT. YOU GOT THAT CLOSE, RIGHT? ONLY ONE INCH. SO YOU TRY AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN. THEN YOU’RE CUSSING AND HITTING A MACHINE IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING CHUCK E. CHEESE’S WHILE A SIX YEAR OLD SNEEZES ON YOUR BACK AND YOU WONDER JUST EXACTLY WHERE YOUR LIFE WENT WRONG BECAUSE ALL YOU HAVE NOW IS ONE TOKEN AND A SEVERELY BRUISED EGO.
I’M ANGRY JUST LOOKING AT THIS PICTURE.
AND MOTHERFUCKIN RAY BEAT IT.