When I’m asked which is harder, being black or being gay, I’m always amused at how shocked people are when I tell them that it’s much harder being black than being gay ( the next QPOCs mileage may vary).

As much hell as I get—and trust me I do get hell—for being gay, I do have certain advantages. I can pass for straight, so as long as I don’t bring any attention to myself, I don’t have to worry about getting my skull cracked in. The other advantage I have, when I call out homophobia, people actually listen. Even the most hardcore conservative will acknowledge the existence of homophobia.

Yet let me call out racism and I have legions upon legions of whites, liberal and conservative, jumping at the chance to gaslight me and question my sanity/honesty/intelligence/emotional maturity.

Because in this society calling out racism is far more egregious than the actual racism.

Or as Malcolm X said, they don’t even acknowledge the knife is there.

The sad reality is that any LGBTQ equality that does happen will be in spite of the mainstream (read white) LGBTQ “community.” The unsung heroes and heroines will primarily be queer POCs and trans people as Stonewall illustrated. Because we don’t have cis and/or white privilege, we don’t have the option to fuck around.