thegeekyblonde:

sanityscraps:

breewriteswords:

agender-queer:

friendlyangryfeminist:

What I Mean When I Say I’m Sex Negative

• that sex positive feminism has little room for survivors of assault
• that sex positive feminism has little interest in helping people who don’t want their sex-life to be a coping mechanism from trauma
• that sex positive feminism prioritizes individual pleasure over critical thinking skills
• that sex positive feminism should be critiqued!
• that not all “kinks” are okay 
• that people are allowed to not be interested in hearing about your sex life
• that people are allowed to not enjoy sex
• that people are allowed to be scared of sex
• that no one needs to have or enjoy sex to prove how empowered they are

What I Don’t Mean

• I’m going to yell at individual adults who have consensual sex.
• I’m anti-sex
• I’m anti-kink
• I’m against coping mechanisms and survival

To add a few of my own as a sex negative sex worker:

• that sex positive feminism tends to glorify sex work and in doing so silences sex workers when we speak out about the problems with sex work that sex posi feminists don’t talk about
• sex posi feminism perpetuates seemingly good stereotypes about sex work but ends up harming sex workers
• sex posi feminism prioritizes aspects of sex work that are supposed to be the “better” parts of it without understanding outside oppressive forces (see: having orgasms at work is great!)
• sex posi feminism tends to ignore outside oppressive forces in general like racism, transphobia, classism, etc. 

Wow! This is really interesting! I’ve always considered myself “sex positive” but can’t help but feel turned off by many aspects of the “sex positive movement,” and this summarized a lot of my discomforts very well.

I agree with everything here and more. Sex posi feminists also tend to have really ignorant conceptions about asexuality and think that it’s inherently slut-shaming. So that’s some ugh.

But I dislike the term “sex negative” because of its implications. I know what you don’t mean by it, obviously, but I think a better term must be out there somewhere. I just can’t think of one at the moment.

i use sex critical! i feel like it gets the point across nice enough