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ODDLY SPECIFIC AUS I NEED

pumpkinsdean:

  • ‘we both got kicked out of our rooms because our roommates are having sex so now we’re standing in the hallway avoiding each other’ AU
  • ‘I heard you singing backstreet boys at 3am and decided to sing along oops’ AU
  • ’ holy shit i’m in the wrong car’ AU
  • LASER TAG AU
  • ‘Omg I can’t believe you still listen to CDs let me help you digitize’ AU
  • ’ I know you steal my wifi to watch porn but it’s kinda hot idk’ AU
  • ‘My pet really hates your pet’ AU
  • ’ Customer that knows wayyyy more than the brand new employee please help me out’ AU
  • ‘I was walking by the roller coasters and SOMEONE’S SHOE FLEW OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD” AU
  • ‘dude i know we don’t know each other but my swim trunks came off when i jumped in the water can you grab them for me’ AU
  • ”it’s 2am and i’m drunk and i need some goddamn french fries right now so open your fucking door’ AU
  • SWIM TEAM AU
  • ‘got mistaken for a celebrity by the celebrity’s biggest fan’ AU
  • ‘this person just fell asleep on me in the subway but they’re cute so whatever’ AU
  • ‘sorry i set the fire alarm in our building off again for the forty-eighth time i was trying to cook’ AU
  • ‘so YOU’RE the douchebag who keeps mowing their lawn while i’m trying to sleep’ AU
  • ‘I know nothing about camping will you help me i think i heard a bear’ au
  • WINDOW WASHER AU 
  • ‘we’re literally the only two kids who ride this school bus maybe we should carpool or make out or something’ AU
  • ‘I hired you off craigslist to be my date for a wedding’ AU
  •  ’I’m a werewolf but I’m embarrassed to tell you because my wolf form is more like a chihuahua’ AU
  • ‘we both tried to rob a bank at the same time’ AU

ALL THE AU’S (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

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mogarsjones:

can you imagine sitting at home, you know minding your own business and watching whatever’s on TV, and then during commercials, the trailer for laZER TEAM COMES ON ????

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verygaygirlfriendspookymulder:

author’s notes in 1998: these characters, of course, do not belong to me !!! 🙂 all rights reserved!!! just borrowing them for some fun!!!! heehee. i lov 2 obey the law

author’s notes in 2014: literally ignore all of canon. the author is dead. i own these assholes now. 

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dysfunctionalqueer:

PSA if you send me nice messages and i don’t respond

there is a 100% chance i saw it and it made me super duper uber happy but i have no idea how to respond and i will let it sit in my inbox for days or weeks and smile when i see it but still have no idea how to respond 

there is a 0% chance that you annoyed me and i don’t like you.