mainmanblackdynamite-deactivate:
Vikings had dirty matted ass hair because ancient Europeans were a filthy people who would shit in their drinking water and wonder why they got sick
You’re both wrong.
Vikings bathed like all the damn time. It was one of the reasons for a long time you had people from the rest of Europe seeing them as untrustworthy weirdos. They carried combs on their belts because they put a lot of stock in having orderly and often elaborately braided hair. Sometimes they’d pack the braids with mud to hold them in place in battles (which their opponents, like the COMPLETELY non-bathing Romans) would mistake for dreads, but in peaceful situations they’d immediately clean it out again.
The Vikings didn’t have dreads, but they were also a pretty clean group of people until they were forcibly assimilated into the rest of medieval Europe.
Thank you for laying down some history truth!
Can confirm. We have some primary sources involving medieval English fuckboys complaining that all the women were making heart-eyes at the Vikings because “Ugh they like comb their beards and their hair EVERY DAY and they bathe MULTIPLE TIMES A WEEK that’s like *cheating* or something you can’t do that!!! Just to seduce our women! CHEATING!!!!!” Hilarious.
Okay I want to clear all this up cause white folks have been patting themselves on the back on this post thinking that they exposed some great conspiracy
VIKINGS WERE CONSIDERED CLEAN BY JUST EUROPEAN STANDARDS
The rest of the world thought they were filthy as shit Europeans considered vikings clean because they washed themselves once a week while Europeans were washing themselves ONCE A YEAR so of course they thought Vikings were clean freaks wanna know what the rest of the world thought of them?
Ibn Fadlan was a Muslim historian who lived with Vikings and here are some of his observations“Every day they must wash their faces and heads and this they do in the dirtiest and filthiest fashion possible: to wit, every morning a girl servant brings a great basin of water; she offers this to her master and he washes his hands and face and his hair — he washes it and combs it out with a comb in the water; then he blows his nose and spits into the basin. When he has finished, the servant carries the basin to the next person, who does likewise. She carries the basin thus to all the household in turn, and each blows his nose, spits, and washes his face and hair in it.”
“They are the filthiest of God’s creatures. They have no modesty in defecation and urination, nor do they wash after pollution from orgasm, nor do they wash their hands after eating. Thus they are like wild asses.”
Vikings were filthy as shit to the rest of the world so white people just stop
I remember reading the bolded in my medieval european history class.
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