the zodiac signs as Stan Pines quotes

Aries: “The word please doesn’t make me any money, kid.”
Taurus: “When there’s no cops around, anything’s legal!”
Gemini: “Sounds like something a responsible parent wouldn’t want you doing… Good thing I’m an uncle. Avenge me, kids! AVENGE ME!”
Cancer: “Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face.”
Leo: “You see, it’s, it’s funny because marriage is terrible!”
Virgo: “Yes, YES! Burn the child!”
Libra: “I was awoken by the sound of mockery. Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule.”
Scorpio: “Wash off the shame, Stan. Wash off the shame.”
Sagittarius: “Would it be wrong to punch a child?”
Capricorn: “Well! I learned nothing.”
Aquarius: “Darn beautiful men! Always eating out of my trash.”
Pisces: “Road safety laws, prepare to be ignored!”