so this one time I was REALLY HIGH and I ate ALL THE FOOD. I was so full. And then, like the high little bb I was, I read a wikipedia article about strange deaths for the lolz and one was some guy whose stomach exploded because he ate too much. SO THEN I was REALLY SURE I WAS GOING TO DIE and almost called my mom (at 3 am, while STONED) to say goodbye.
I am sharing this embarrassing story in the hopes that one of you will write me a fic in which, at 3 am, one guy answers his phone and this happens:
guy 1: “it’s 3 am wtf”
guy 2: *crying*
guy 1: “are you okay??”
guy 2: *slurring* “I’m sorry… I’m sorry. I just love you so much.”
guy 1: “what”
guy 2: “I ate two pies… and all the ice cream, a bag of chips, the leftover pad thai. cookies. a pizza”
guy 1:
guy 2: “I’m going to die.” *crying again* “I’m sorry. I just needed to tell you. I love you. I’m sorry. That king on wikipedia died I’m going to be a weird death statistic. I love you.”
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