fighting the main RVB crew

church: fight church. do it. shove that nerd into a locker. “but he’s an AI–” fight him anyway. trust me it’ll be worth it.
tucker: ABSOLUTELY fight tucker. why WOULDN’T you fight tucker??? have you MET tucker??? just make sure he doesn’t get pissed off — this is the guy who had the balls to back talk carolina, charge at tex with a sword he barely knew how to use, and get stabbed for The Cause. you’ll kick his ass anyway but tread carefully.
caboose: sure, go ahead. fight caboose. nah, nah you’ll be fine. i’ll go get my camera.
tex: there’s an entire song dedicated to telling you why you shouldn’t fight tex. don’t fight tex.
wash: don’t fight wash. he’s been through enough and he’ll have nothing to lose.
carolina: fight carolina. no, no hear me out — she’ll definitely kick your ass, but you’ll probably learn something. plus she’ll admire the fact that you were dumb enough to train with her. at the very least, if you do it right, you’ll get her on your good side. go on and fight carolina.
sarge: fighting sarge sounds like a good NOW, but just wait a day or two. then a few months. then a decade. if you want to fight sarge, keep your schedule clear — you’re in it for the long haul.
grif: fight grif. sarge’ll help and it’ll be a good confidence booster. but don’t touch his food. then it’ll get personal and he’ll try to eat you.
simmons: unless you’re ready to see a grown man cry or endless bullets headed in your direction, don’t fight simmons.
donut: what???? is wrong with you??? have tea with donut. let donut make you pretty. treat donut right. don’t fight donut, you monster.
doc: how about you FIND him first, asshole, then think about why you want to fight the pacifist. i’ll wait.