It started when I was in kindergarten, and I was so proud I did not have to go to Bingo class, unlike my friends, because I could speak good English –
although I had no idea what a yellow dog that could spell had anything to do with Chinese.
(I figure out now that it was probably called Bilingual class)
I am lucky. I speak the fluent, accentless English of newscasters, the dialect spoken by the children of immigrants, that we learned not from our parents but rather from watching Sesame Street and other things on tv.
Last year, a white facebook friend of mine posted, “In order to celebrate Chinese New Year, me talk rike chinese man arr day.”
And then told me that she was “sorry I was offended” and “she didn’t mean anything by it” when I (nicely, sweetly) told her that that shit was not okay. She said that she saw it the same as doing an accent, like Irish. Or British. Or Italian. (for bonus points, she even said that she has lots of Asian co-workers and friends, and LOVES Asian people, and so is not a racist.)
And when one of my white friends gets drunk, he thinks his “Asian accent” is hilarious.
And I was told by a coworker about the time my Asian coworker mispronounced “Barroway” as “Bwawwoway” and how hilarious it was.
Here’s the thing – can you guess how many Asian people I know who actually say
me rikey
me from _____
me so solly
(or, if you like, the fetishized versions: me so horny, me love you long time)
if you said ZERO, then ding ding ding! Congratulations, you have working brain cells.
No, my misguided fb friend, the “Asian accent” is not an actual imitation of an accent, comparable to your bad British/Irish/Italian – but rather a mockery of Asian people and their supposed inability to speak English. It is the perpetuation of the image of Asian people as perpetual foreigners in America.
Like that time when my family was at an Italian restaurant, and we were speaking to my father in Cantonese, and a drunken white lady said very loudly, “GOD when you come to this country at least learn the language!”
Or when my father was pulled over for speeding, and although he said “what’s the problem, officer?” the first thing the state trooper said was, “Do you speak English?”
Your fake “Asian accents” are not harmless and silly, because at the root of the joke, it says – you, you are stupid. You cannot speak English. You are Other. You do not belong.
my parents have been in this country for 30 years. They have been American citizens for 30 years.
And they are very self-conscious of their imperfect English, afraid that it makes them look ignorant, knowing that it marks them as immigrants. That, after 30 years, you can still be told (in not so many words) that you do not belong.
The Cultural Revolution started in China when my father was 13. He was pulled out of school and, later, sent to work in the fields. (He escaped to Hong Kong when he was 18, but that is another story for another time.)
When my father came to this country, he had a middle school education and did not speak a lick of English. He worked as a busboy at a Chinese restaurant, the evening shift that ran until 3 or 4 in the morning, and went to school during the day.
It took my father ten years to earn his bachelor’s degree. He is now an engineer.
Is this not your “American Dream?”
When my mother came to this country, she spoke very little English. She got a job as an entry level clerk. Over the years she earned one promotion after another. She is now management at a large federal agency, and manages funds for the whole state.
Is this not your “American Dream?”
And my father didn’t understand why his coworkers said, “flied lice, flied lice!” to him over and over and laughed.
And my father is still afraid to speak in a professional setting, even when he has ideas.
And my mother still checks and double checks her professional e-mails with me, for fear of mockery from the same people she manages.
And people don’t understand why I can’t take a harmless joke. Why I don’t think that shit is funny.
No, I don’t “rikey.”
No, I won’t “love you long time.”
And no, I’m not sorry.
So, please, kindly – FUCK OFF.
Reblogging this for, like, the fiftieth time because it has never stopped being relevant to my life and it always, always breaks my heart.
It’s not funny. It’s not okay. It’s not harmless. It’s alienating and hurtful.
if you dont believe in god thats fine but when extremely horrible things have happened and people are praying for the lost souls of children, it is not the time to speak up. it is not just “stating your opinion” it’s being an asshole
I reblog this as an atheist who really wishes other atheists would shut the fuck up and let people deal with tragedy in their own way that hurts no one.
Aaaaand the opposite is also true. If a horrible tragedy befalls an atheist, don’t try to use it as an opportunity to lead them to Jesus.
-You don’t get better at drawing by avoiding drawing until you are better at drawing.
– You don’t have to make a new masterpiece every day it’s okay if all you drew is a doodle of a bug. You are now +1 bug doodle better at doodling bugs.
– Also it’s okay if the thing you drew didn’t turn out very good. Everything you draw makes you one step closer to being able to draw good. You are still +1 step better at drawing whatever you drew no take backsies.
– You are the only person who knows if your art didn’t turn out as good as you wanted it to. You are the only person who can see the things in your art that weren’t what you imagined in your head. No one else will know unless you tell them.
– Comparing yourself to other artists just isn’t fair. You get to see all of your art, the best stuff and the worst stuff. You usually only get to see the best stuff other artists make. You don’t get to see that half drawn badly propotioned face they drew at 2 am and immediately scrapped. So don’t compare your badly drawn 2 am face to their best work.
– Just keep making art. The only way you can really fail is if you give up.
this is the perfect crime honestly because the only people who would notice how many there are per year are the people who are really into sharks, and like, they aren’t gonna complain about there being MORE sharks
“Another stunning catch by Miranda MacIlvaine! And speaking of stunning catches, Miss MacIlvaine is bisexual and by the way, completely free this Friday night!“
#’There’s also a Quidditch match going on you know!’ says McGonagall futilely
“Yeah but we all know Gryffindor’s gonna win so who cares? IN OTHER NEWS…”
“GRYFFINDOR SCORES! …as does Miss MacIlvaine, I would imagine, if someone has the extraordinarily good sense to ask her to the Yule Ball….”
“Jordan…!”
“Look, all I’m saying is that as far as I’m concerned, she can play for any team she likes, so long as that team isn’t Slytherin…”
“I applaud your sentiment in theory, Jordan, but do research the concept of ‘impartial commentary,’ won’t you?”
LOOK AT THIS HOT BABE AND THIS AWESOME CAKE MADE BY THE HOT BABE. (Yes, that’s a cake. A CAKE.)
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HARRY POTTER COOKIES, GUYS
LOOK AT THIS LOKI HEADPIECE CUPCAKE IT’S SCULPTED BY A CAKE GODDESS
she even made a cupcake for homestuck garbage, she’s so great omfg
SO what can you do to help this hot mama open up her VERY OWN bakery? DONATE TO HER KICKSTARTER! She’s very far from her goal and time is very short. It would be totally tragic and horrible to see it fail, because she’s SO incredibly talented. So please signal boost, donate if you can, and send her some LOVE!
Reblog if you can’t do anything else! Let’s get her talent in the limelight!
