They will grow up completely untrusting with a general sense of sadness and guilt.
Manipulation includes:
– “I just wish [something passive aggressive involving your child]”
– “You do whatever you want to do.” and then getting mad when they make the “wrong” choice
– Not believing them when they tell you something someone did or said to them, including their friends, your friends, family members, or even you
– Doing something shitty and then pretending you didn’t in hopes they’ll forget?
– Getting upset when they open up to you. About anything. Even if it’s something angering or disappointing. Don’t show them it’s dangerous or counterproductive to talk to you.
– Making them feel bad for the friends/significant others they choose, career path (or lack thereof), school choice (or lack thereof), gender/sexuality (or lack thereof) literally anything that either they didn’t choose or that they would be miserable without
– Do NOT EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES pressure them to talk to you about personal things.
– Kids do not owe their parents anything. They did not choose to be born. You chose to get pregnant/chose to carry to term/chose to raise a baby (even if you didn’t choose all of these things, you at least chose one) under the assumption that you would love this child no matter what.
Yeah I just found out that this has been happening to me for about six years without realizing it. It fucks you up.
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