severus-snape-is-a-butt-trumpet:
- we’re both prefects and we broke up a food fight in the great hall, but it got messy and dungbombs were involved, and now we’re both disgusting and in immediate need of a bath, and it’s okay, we can both use the prefects’ bathroom at the same time, i promise i won’t look
- hi, you don’t know me, we’re from different houses, and i’m not exactly sure how to tell you this, but i think your cat is in love with my toad??
- you walked in on me practicing for datda in an empty classroom, and have now inadvertently discovered that my boggart takes the form of a butterfly, please stop laughing
- we’re partners for an essay project in history of magic and we need to get a book from the restricted section, but i’m not sure how the books are organized in this section, and you won’t stop trying to find weird sex books, like, no i don’t think they keep the wizard’s kama sutra in the restricted section, what is wrong with you?
- we’re partners in divination, and i’m reading your tea leaves, and i don’t know what i’m doing, so i just am guessing on images, but somehow every image i guess ends up having a romantic connotation, i swear i’m not doing this on purpose
- i am muggle born and/or know nothing about professional quidditch teams, but i heard through the grapevine that you’re really obsessed with the chudley cannons, and omg, did you know that’s my favorite team too?? (please don’t ask me questions about it)
- we’re both in gryffindor tower and everyone is asleep except us, but it’s thunderstorming and i never noticed how loud thunder is up in this tower, haha, i’m a little freaked out, would you mind if i just sat in your bed with you? just until it’s over? absolutely no homo?
- i am sorry i accidentally transfigured your goblet into a gigantic, venomous spider, at least madam pomfrey was able to bring down the swelling, and look, i brought you some chocolate frogs
- you know, i was joking when i suggested you jump into the lake and see if there really is a giant squid, and i’m still not sure why you needed to take your clothes off to do this
- how was i supposed to know you’d react to firewhiskey like that??
- i am headboy/headgirl, and i’ve been asked to give a presentation on safe sexual practices, and you will not stop asking me uncomfortable questions to embarrass me, please stop, i know you know the answer to that, we did it last night
- um, i don’t know you, but you are headed right towards the grounds, and i don’t have time to explain that i accidentally let all the blast-ended skrewts out of their cages, stop asking questions, you need to RUN