T’be honest I don’t even care about feathers on movie dinosaurs in terms of scientific accuracy all that much because yeah, who knows what these things even looked like, right now we base everything people recognize as “dinosaur” on skin stretched over skeletons like balloon latex. Like everybody loves the little frill dude in the first Jurassic Park and there’s zero evidence to suggest it had frills or acidy spit, that was just a fun thing they made up. I’m mostly just disappointed in them snubbing a whole new dimension of texture and colour they had a carte blanche to work with.
It feels like… if we lived in a world where every movie werewolf was a big hairless snouty dude, and then someone came in and was like “hey you know these are wereWOLVES, we could probably do some cool things with fur and hair” but a handful of nostalgia gluttons were like “ugh you want them to look like DOGS? But dogs are cute and silly, that’s not scary” and the people making the movies were just like “all our marketing data is based on hairless werewolf sales, we don’t know how your hairwolves are gonna sell, we’d rather stick with the sure thing” and then whenever someone was like “wow imagine how much cooler these things could look if you added fur” they had to deal with a bunch of randos coming out of the woodwork to say “Well I LIKE bald werewolves so FIGHT me. They’re just better.” Like imagine every single movie werewolf you’ve ever seen in an alternate reality where Hollywood just decided “bald werewolves only”
There’s a whole new dimension of creature design you can bring to the table with embellishments like feathers, keratinous spines, colours, soft tissue, all that stuff. Everyone I meet who gets riled up about dinosaur feathers thinks you’re demanding they replace t-rex with a giant chicken or something but like dude, no, they could make it even BETTER and MORE intimidating. They can give it red eyes and thorny neck ruff like a bearded vulture, they can give it that iridescent indigo with fleshy crimson flashes like a cassowary, they can invent something completely new with the most flattering accents of feathers they can raise in threatening displays to communicate emotions and spiky overgrown pinfeather spines running down their backs. To say feathers would look “stupid” just betrays a lack of imagination.
if only I knew how to work photoshop or add an unholy amount of jpg artifacts to things, then I could produce some REAL dumbass reaction images
Hello and welcome to Captain Snoop’s tutorial on how to really FUCK UP pictures.
Step 1: Open Photoshop and open the image in question
Step 2: Just go straight to “Save As” and be sure to save as a jpg
Step 3: in the compression options, slide the lil slider all the way to the left, compressing the fuck out of the image
Step 4: Screenshot your fucked up image and cancel saving
Step 5: Past the screenshot, adjust your image, and Save As again
Step 6: same as before, just slide that shit all the way to zero quality and screenshot again
Step 7: Repeat until you get the desired amount of compression scum
Step 8: grab yourself the magic want tool and start select a random part of the image
Step 9: Go in to Effects > Sharpen > Sharpen Edges and repeat this effect on different parts of the image
Step 9: Add another few layers of compression scum for good measure.
Congratulations! You have now officially turned this:
In to THIS:
But sometimes that isn’t enough. Sometimes you gotta go the extra fuckin’ mile.
Find yourself a website with a “meme creator,” Imgur has a nice one. Put your stupid shit of choice in there,
Ah, but that’s still not good enough. Let’s do some more shit to it.
oh yeah thats the good shit. let’s keep going. let’s find an this picture would look nice with some “enhancements.” Let’s upload it to Imgur again and use their in-browser image editor to fuck around with it.
Stick some of the enhancements like color correction, brightening, and “high def” on it, and slap one of their filter effects on it. Holy shit. It looks good.
Not done though. I made an unfortunate typo. I need to correct it.
