Month: July 2015

titillatingtubist:

thatlesbianthespian:

fuck-cue-to-cues:

searchingformyperson:

thatlesbianthespian:

The delivery guy for the children’s theater I work at probably thinks we’re crazy.

At the top of the month we buy a 6 pack of vodka (to spray costumes) and a 500 pack of condoms (for mic packs).

Mm. Yes. Vodka and condoms makes children’s theatre go round.

Wait, I’ve never heard of using Vodka for costumes. PLEASE EXPLAIN.

if you mix vodka and water in a spray bottle and spray the costumes it FUCKIN KILLS the bacteria that make them smell bad

which is super cool

it makes the costume smell like vodka for like 2 minutes, then no more b.o

also psa DON’T SPRAY COSTUMES WITH FEBREEZE i know it’s a quick de-smellifier but over time it leaves a super sticky and disgusting residue 

PREECH. techies against febrezing 2k15.

Holy cow I never knew about the vodka thing, but it makes so much sense and I love it!

orbitingghosts:

did you know that bad dreams are called nightmares because waking up shaking and terrified is exactly like the sensation of having to acknowledge the existence of horses

jordanlhawk:

naamahdarling:

kyraneko:

animatedamerican:

gokuma:

thepreciousthing:

gracielovesjesus:

2015: Man-on-man marriage
2017: Man-on-child marriage
2019: Man-on-dog marriage
2021: Man-on-car marriage
2023: Hopefully the world ends by then tbh

Two consenting adults, be they man and woman, man and man, woman and woman, or any other combination not specified by the above, are now granted the right (as they always should have had) to enter a legally binding contract and obtain all its attached benefits.

Children cannot give consent. Children cannot legally sign contracts. Children cannot get married.

Animals cannot give consent. Animals cannot legally sign contracts. Animals cannot get married.

Optimus Prime is a sentient being and leader of the entire Autobot race and I don’t think you have any place telling him who his people can and cannot marry. If he is okay with Rewind and Chromedome or Astoria and Powerglide then you need to step off.

WELL SAID

It’s very easy to make Gracie’s mistake here if you persist in thinking of marriage as “a man and his chosen marriage object” rather than, you know, “two people choosing to marry each other.”

Says something about how some people view heterosexual marriage.

DING DING DING DING DING we have a winner.

None of these people have ever expressed a worry that dogs will start wanting to marry men, or that houseplants will start wanting to marry cars.

This way of thinking only makes sense if your view of straight marriage depends on “man actively choosing, woman passively chosen” and gay marriage only fits into your worldview as the distortion “man actively choosing wrong thing,” as though it’s a Sesame Street comedy sketch with Mr. Noodle trying to marry a pocket watch by mistake, presumably with his pants on his head.

Interestingly enough, I’ve never heard someone warn us about women wanting to marry anything, either.

thank you for that mental image.  and yes, this is exactly right.  i’ve never seen any anti-marriage assholes talk about what they’re afraid WOMEN will do.

It’s very easy to make Gracie’s mistake here if you persist in thinking of marriage as “a man and his chosen marriage object” rather than, you know, “two people choosing to marry each other.”

This, holy shit, yes. Literally until now I never understood how people couldn’t understand “can’t enter into a legally binding contract” when it came to children, animals, whatever. And now it’s clear as fucking day. And even grosser than I realized.

deathgripsforcutie:

tarot card reader: *pulls out a deck of pokemon cards* lets see… mr. mime here says you may be facing financial difficulties real soon

me: what is this

tarot card reader: just a joke to lighten the mood. *pulls out a deck of yugioh cards* now lets get started