michaeljnes:

i’m really into the idea of immortal fake ah where they all died at different times, but not in any conventional order.

ray loves the look on everyone’s face when he tells them he beats them all in age, because he was up and kicking when mesopotamia was still thriving, about five thousand years before jesus was even a twinkle in mary’s eye. he especially loves how michael yells out “you look like a fetus!”, how gavin’s mad he won’t share how he died (he legitimately can’t remember) and how geoff says he doesn’t care when he was born, geoff is still older than him.

jack was born halfway through the renaissance and spent too many years as a stonemason. he died when his idiot apprentice knocked a stone onto him. and if anyone makes one more joke about building a house, he swears he’ll find a way to kill them for good.

gavin’s family was one of many that went to the new world in the late 1600′s. he found out that he couldn’t die smack dab in the middle of the salem witch trials, which was a tad bit inconvenient. he did a lot of accidentally dying and leaving for a new colony in the middle of the night.

michael was one of the thousands of people who worked their ass off in some shitty factory during the industrial revolution. he was also part of a smaller number that got killed in the machinery.

ryan was 20 years old at the turn of the 18th century to the 19th. he was a doctor, and he managed to catch a hyper deadly combination of the flu and pneumonia. he fell asleep, his heart stopped, and then he woke up a few hours later, feeling completely fine.

geoff got in a really bad motorcycle accident a couple of years ago. he walked away. the people in the car that hit him didn’t.