The Signs as Geoff Ramsey Quotes

Aries: “Has anybody seen any rare occurrences yet?”
Taurus: “Speaking of hard – my dick.”
Gemini: “You know what they say: the worse the apocalypse, the gayer my dick is.”
Cancer: “I once got the shit beat out of me so bad by a dude named ‘Porch’.”
Leo: “I lost my virginity to a girl on black tar heroin.”
Virgo: “I’m gonna shit my pants!”
Libra: “Can you holographically shut the fuck up?”
Scorpio: “I hate that dude. No offense to him personally.”
Sagittarius: “Its a punk rock thing. It’s kind of hard to explain.”
Capricorn: “All things considered this is going pretty badly.”
Aquarius: “Unfortunately, in space, people can still hear you being a fucking idiot.”
Pisces: “You make a pretty good milkshake, fish.”