wizardoutofoz:

weedstrology:

thenatalchart:

quifflecat:

naamahdarling:

seriousjones:

tired of hearing about how saturn is the most fuckable planet just because it has the most rings. jupiter is clearly the most fuckable planet, and trust me, i’ve already heard your “oh the great red spot is an std” jokes, and i don’t care. and btw, the logistics of fucking the rings of a planet don’t make any sense. have fun trying to put your dick through a bunch of jagged rocks and ice, you piece of shit

this is like one of the best posts i’ve seen on tumblr and let me tell you why

• “tired of hearing about” posts that then go on to delineate something i have literally never heard anyone talking about are hilarious
• the idea of trying to rank the planets as fuckable is absurd
• huffy “i don’t care”
• nitpicking the logistics of something impossible
• horrible mental image
• ends very angrily

did you know that if you tried to fuck jupiter, it would rip you apart. jupiter is seen as the guardian of our solar system because its gravitational pull is very large so when large comets or something is comin our jupiter is like no bitch and sucks that shit up like theres no tomorrow and its theorized jupiter is eventually going to engulf its own moons or that it already has

what is the most fuckable planet then?

uranus

This joke’s buildup was worth the payout