Aries: *spills paint all over the table* I do it for the aesthetic
Taurus: I don’t give a fuck if its October, I’m gonna play Christmas music
Gemini: Its cold today but not as cold as my heart
Cancer: Have you seen my Build-a-Bear birth certificate???
Leo: I JUST DROPPED MY ICE CREAM AND ITS ALL OVER THE FLOOR I SWEAR I’M GONNA THROW MYSELF INTO A FIRE
Virgo: I’m done. I’m going to bed. I don’t care if its 6 o’clock
Libra: she wore blue eyeshadow and pink lipstick to school today and I’M the ugly one???
Scorpio: if I sent you my nudes would you tell me if they were cute or not
Sagittarius: if I die tonight let the girl who indirected me in class know that shes a fucking skank
Capricorn: Kill me please. It would hurt less than AP world history
Aquarius: what sort of sick bastard puts ketchup on their eggs (they say as they put mustard on their fries)
Pisces: *over FaceTime* can I see your dog
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