It’s apparently organic shit that mad white people go to (let’s call it what it is, now).
I’ve been inside all day, I went to the gym, I haven’t showered, I haven’t done ANYTHING hygiene wise, I’m wearing a throwback basketball jersey and gym shorts right now. As I park, I see nothing my upper-middle class families.
This is gonna be interesting. I’ll liveblog it, why. Not…
Hipsters work here. Saw a black guy in here but he’s an employee so I’m still the only nigga in here by default
Fam yall know them candy machines that have them jelly beans in them and you pull the lever and it goes in a bag well they got that shit with dried fruit this really is a white people paradise
They have NO name brand stuff here like I lowkey fuck with that but then again you got “Amy’s organic soups” nigga who the fuck is Amy and how am I supposed to trust you my nigga Campbell’s been holding me down for 24 years
Saw another black guy but it’s evident I’m the only real nigga in this building
I need
to come with me on my next trip to whole foods because a nigga lost physically and mentally they’re playing “sweet home Alabama” over the PA and I’m concerned for my well beingThe Cheese selection here is SOMETHING ELSE like I’ve never seen anything like it
“Panko crusted goat cheese medallions” $23.99 lb
N I G G A
I’m getting a herb chicken caprese sandwich to go like I can’t leave this place empty handed or else they’ll think I’m stealing or some shit
Guy heating up my sandwich is pretty cool.
This guy is a STONER.
This sandwich is fucking AMAZING.
They have apple pay here, which is swag so word I fuck with whole foods but I can’t do it alone because I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ANYTHING IS I do but like you know how white people have that one black guy to help him define lingo to prevent them from going on urban dictionary in public and looking foolish well I need someone to guide me through whole foods thing (black or white whoever as long as you’re experienced) because I’m not about to be out here buying Amy’s organic soup and shit then find out I’m eating bison broth with chives and onions like I’m not about that life
Whole foods 8.5/10
This story is a solid 10/10
BISON BROTH
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