spacepunkstevie:

The only way I’ll accept the hydracap story line to play out is:

  • Steve’s busy being a nazi when Bucky goes to check on him and bucky’s like “wtf the fuck”
  • So he’s like “steve no” and steve’s like “steve yes” and Bucky’s like “that’s only funny when you’re a good guy doing reckless things and not a NAZI doing NAZI THINGS” and steve’s like “(ง’̀-‘́)ง” because he’s a dick now
  • but Bucky can win this
  • because Bucky’s got a secret weapon
  • an assassin you know and love who’s unafraid to step in
  • he’s constantly confusing, confounding the marvel henchmen
  • EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA’S FAVOURITE FIGHTING TRASH CAN
  • Deadpool
  • so he goes to deadpool like “you know that thing you do where you break the fourth wall or w/e” and deadpool’s like “yeah?”
  • “can i use it for a bit?”
  • so they go off and fight the marvel writers (with swords) and then destroy the new issues (with fire) and then they go to see steve and steve hugs them all and he’s crying and thanking them for saving his characterisation
  • and then they go out for ice cream or something

knitmeapony:

unpretty:

wayne enterprises almost certainly has clothing as one of their retail subsidiaries and i like to imagine it getting really profitable just because bruce spends so much time listening to models bitch at parties. all of their product lines have names like “It Has Real Pockets” and “Not See-Through” and “Full-Length Sleeves” and “Secret Elastic Waist”. the marketing department is like “okay obviously these are all working titles” and bruce is like “no. leave it. that is what it’s called.” and they try to talk him out of it but he owns a helicopter and you can’t argue with a man who owns a helicopter. they sell so fast. the women of gotham are well-dressed and comfortable and always have somewhere to keep their phones.

The tags are also gold: 

#original#the problems they are solving get more obscure as time goes on#jeans forgiving enough that you can kick someone in the face#reinforced thighs to account for friction#boyfriend jeans renamed comfy jeans#Won’t Show Your Bra#More Than One Size#it starts as a whim he just emails whoever is in charge of that department like#‘for the love of god just give them some fucking pockets’#if anyone appreciates the importance of pockets it’s batman#look at his belt#being without pockets is like his nightmare#if he has to help one more person figure out where in his enormous fucking mansion they left their fucking clutch#that they only brought because they didn’t have any goddamn pockets#he’s not going to be mad but he’ll be disappointed#wayne enterprises with bruce at the head sees a huge increase in profits and sometimes it is for the weirdest fucking reasons#am i the only one who wishes everything had an elastic waist#but secretly so i can still look classy

chikxulub:

when someone reads u a tumblr post youve seen a million times and you gotta act like you don’t spend your entire life on this blue hell