The only way I’ll accept the hydracap story line to play out is:
Steve’s busy being a nazi when Bucky goes to check on him and bucky’s like “wtf the fuck”
So he’s like “steve no” and steve’s like “steve yes” and Bucky’s like “that’s only funny when you’re a good guy doing reckless things and not a NAZI doing NAZI THINGS” and steve’s like “(ง’̀-‘́)ง” because he’s a dick now
but Bucky can win this
because Bucky’s got a secret weapon
an assassin you know and love who’s unafraid to step in
he’s constantly confusing, confounding the marvel henchmen
EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA’S FAVOURITE FIGHTING TRASH CAN
Deadpool
so he goes to deadpool like “you know that thing you do where you break the fourth wall or w/e” and deadpool’s like “yeah?”
“can i use it for a bit?”
so they go off and fight the marvel writers (with swords) and then destroy the new issues (with fire) and then they go to see steve and steve hugs them all and he’s crying and thanking them for saving his characterisation
wayne enterprises almost certainly has clothing as one of their retail subsidiaries and i like to imagine it getting really profitable just because bruce spends so much time listening to models bitch at parties. all of their product lines have names like “It Has Real Pockets” and “Not See-Through” and “Full-Length Sleeves” and “Secret Elastic Waist”. the marketing department is like “okay obviously these are all working titles” and bruce is like “no. leave it. that is what it’s called.” and they try to talk him out of it but he owns a helicopter and you can’t argue with a man who owns a helicopter. they sell so fast. the women of gotham are well-dressed and comfortable and always have somewhere to keep their phones.
