yourplayersaidwhat:

Me and my party were off in a dungeon, and just had split up the group to go multiple ways. The elf druid (me) and the partially blind extremely old dwarf wizard went down one tunnel, and came across a wall that had a small- medium sized hole in it

Me: I’m gonna stick my arm in it

DM: there is a switch in the back of the hole

Me: well then I’m going to flip the switch

DM: as you flip the switch the switch, a secret door opens to your left. At the same time however, the rock above where your arm is starts to cave in. Make a reflex save to see if you can pull your arm out fast enough

Me: oh god no that is my good arm

DM: don’t worry it is pretty much impossible to actually fail this, you’ll be fine.

Me: oh okay great. *rolls die* crap..I uh..rolled a one…

DM: are you fucking- okay well the rock falls down on your arm, and it hurts like hell.

Me: CMON okay well I’m going to try to free my arm by shifting the rock with my other arm to free it. *rolls die* I…

DM: what did they roll?

Dwarf: …they rolled another one

DM: ….well. I just. Um. As you tried to free your arm, you some how got your other arm gets stuck under the rock. Roll for damage.

Me: *rolls dice and takes the maximum possible damage* DWARF HELP ME IM GOING TO DIE IF I TAKE ANY MORE DAMAGE

Dwarf: UH OKAY I UH I’m going to try to give her one of my potions

DM: roll to see how well you can give her a potion because she is kind of freaking out.

Dwarf: mk. *rolls die* …..shit

DM: what did you roll?

Dwarf: …..a one….

DM: Jesus fucking… Okay so you manage to slam the potion directly into her forehead, shattering the glass and wasting the potion completely. *points at me* you take 1d3 point of damage. What HP are you at?

Me:….one hp…

DM:…….well. You pass out and your arms tug free, and are now rapidly falling towards the ground where there there are glass shards laying.

Me: DWARF SAVE ME

Dwarf: *is currently shaking* c’mon lucky die I know you can do this *rolls die*

Me:

Dwarf:

DM: are you

DM: you rolled a natural 20

DM: you majestically sweep the elf off her feet and glide her to safety, laying her carefully on the ground. None of your old bones hurt or ache. You feel like you are a young lad again.

Whole table: *cheering and yelling*

DM: would you like to try to heal her?

Dwarf: IM TAKING A 20 ON THAT