Okay, so,
Executive function is controlled by the frontal cortex. This is the area of the brain that develops the slowest. The frontal cortex also rules decision making, socializing, some aspects of memory, control of behavior, social behaviors, some aspects of personality, recognition of identity and self-awareness, etc.
This is an EXTREMELY brief summary of something that is very difficult to explain and understand, so please do not take this at complete face-value, because, in that regard, what I’ve written might be outright misinformation.
My point is, the frontal cortex is the part of your brain that is responsible for executive function and many parts of thinking and problem-solving and decision-making, and is also the part of your brain that makes you, you.
If you are under 25, there is a SIGNIFICANT chance that your brain has not finished developing in this area. It’s been hypothesized that personality disorders (in this example, cluster B disorders such as BPD) are caused by trauma affecting the development of the frontal cortex, for instance. Those suffering trauma prior to maturity of the frontal cortex are at a huge disadvantage compared to those who aren’t.
This is also why someone just a few years older can be capable of exponentially more than you, and why I’m very critical of the idea of 18 being considered “adulthood” in a lot of regards.
So, if you’re like me, and autistic, have ADHD, have a personality DISASTER (joke), are a trauma survivor, and are under 25? Cut yourself some fucking slack, you’ve got everything against you and you’re doing damn well regardless.
For my younger executive dysfunction people, this means that, yes, most likely, it does get better, in a very tangible way – your brain needs to finish growing. You will remember better, decide better, function better, etc, in years to come, not because of anything you can do or can control, but because your brain still has some growing up to do.
Does the rest of the world care, acknowledge this, or recognize this and stop telling you your value is decided by what you do and how well you manage yourself? Nope. But the frontal cortex is also the part of your brain that keeps you from thinking the world is on fire and you are going to die if people do not like you and find you satisfactory. That, too, can get better.
My point is, don’t flog yourself for this, chances are, it’s literally completely outside of your ability, because you have a brain that doesn’t do that on top of a brain that isn’t grown enough to be able to do that to its full ability. It’s not your fault and you can do something about it and
maybe you’ll still be staring at a pile of dishes and not knowing where to begin in 7 years, maybe you’ll be done putting them away and asking what’s next, but at least you won’t be constantly curled on the floor panicking and hating yourself for not being able to just get up and DO it because it’s overwhelming.
Anyways, in conclusion, brains are fucking bullshit. Hope this helps, feel free to correct me or add input. Good luck to you today!
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