papanorth:

Had an AU thought for some reason last night:

Wash meets Blue Team but there’s no war and they’re all just living that city life. Wash totally has the crush on Tucker but Church is like “he’s not even 20 yet you sick fuck” and wash obvs is like ‘omg i AM. Im a sick fuck. im never talking to that actual child again holy shit’ 

But TUCKER obvs has the hots for Wash so he keeps hitting on him all the time and wash is like ‘pls. pls go away’ and it tangles into this whole knot of confusion and uncertainty and when they finally confront each other wash is like “YOU’RE TOO YOUNG OK YOU CAN’T EVEN DRINK YET I’M SORRY I CAN’T DO THIS”

To which Tucker responds

“what the fuck, asshole, I’m 24 years old.” 

Church, enjoying the show, goes “oh yeah, I lied.”