okay but just imagine sirius being quidditch commentator/gossip queen

ginnyfxckingweasley:

  • ‘just letting everyone know that gryffindor captain james is very single and very ready to mingle if your name is lily evans’
  • ‘jones is no doubt slightly distracted by the fact his girlfriend cheated on him, sorry ‘bout that mate’
  • ‘no eliza i will not ask remus out for you’
  • ‘if flemming was as good at flirting as he is at blocking goals then maybe he wouldn’t have been rejected by dorcas meadowes last week’
  • ‘benjy stop laughing and start playing you’re not as funny as you think you are’
  • ‘to the person who asked if emmeline vance had a boyfriend i’m just gonna tell you now you’re not good enough for her’
  • ‘excellent beating from lockley there, managing to nearly knock out turner whilst maintaining that perfect hair, how does he do it?’
  • ‘yes professor this is all highly important informatio… no it’s not nonsense…. look now you’ve made me miss a goal’
  • ‘lily evans says she’ll go on a date with james potter if he scores thirteen times – don’t smirk you bastard you’ll never do it’
  • ‘gryffindor’s daley has seen the snitch! oh wait he’s lost it. now daley was it you i saw trip down the stairs yesterday?’
  • ‘and turner passes to west who passes to samson who – drops it. its important to note none of the ravenclaw chasers are speaking to each other, i don’t know why, only that it involves a bottle of firewhiskey, a game of truth or dare, and west’s pet cat’
  • ‘dorcas meadowes would like it to be known she rejected flemming because she has no obligation to date someone just because they think she’s hot’
  • ‘update on the james and lily situation; james has scored eight goals and lily has now got JP painted on her cheek’
  • ‘if tom denvers can afford the new nimbus then he can bloody afford to pay me the four galleons he owes me’
  • ‘gryffindor now lead 140 – 70, peter pettigrew really needs gryffindor to win or he has to pay lois knight ten sickles and then he won’t be able to buy me a birthday present’
  • ‘if ravenclaw would hurry up and lose so we can start the party that would be great’
  • ‘party? i don’t know who gave you the impression there would a party tonight professor’
  • ‘of course i’m sure, professor, i would know if there was a party happening tonight. i can assure you there isn’t a party in the gryffindor common room at seven-thirty pm. if there was though i would tell gideon prewett to bring his own bloody firewhiskey this time because i’m not paying for his ridiculous drinking habits’
  • ‘oh james scored again, him and evans are both smiling far too much if you ask me’
  • ‘yes marlene i did say seven-thirty pm. what do you mean you’re busy?’