bumblesweet:

its really funny how like, pikachu has been the obvious moneymaker for pokemon throughout its history, and they’ve tried to replicate this without success ever since. trying each gen to hit on that perfect mascot formula

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and finally after a series of unsuccessful and generally unmemorable clumsy pikachu ripoffs, nintendo comes out with a pokemon… whose entire concept is boldfacedly, ‘clumsy pikachu ripoff’

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and everyone fucking loves it

dannydanuselessstuff:

artaline:

human: *is heating up food*

alien: why are you doing that?

human: you see i want the particles in my food to vibrate at just the right frequency

Human: *is eating ice cream*

alien: wait you forgot to make that one vibrate!

human: well, you see, not with this food

Guess who just lost at battle goddamn 49 at the battle Maison

yokosssser:

jhameia:

swingsetindecember:

where a grad student becomes a supervillain for extra credit since their doctoral committee is lowkey three of the city’s supervillains. and they meet the hero who is cute and charming and idealistic. and damn, extra credit is so not worth this. but damn, grad school is expensive and the job market is competitive 

“there’s good in you”

“i really think all that’s in me at this point is ramen, red bull and spite”

I WOULD BUY THIS NOVEL

“My question is, what happened that you could turn to the dark side?”

“I failed.”

“What did you fail? Yourself? Your family? Your lover?”

“No, Developmental Biology.”

margotkim:

margotkim:

So I came home from work today and there was a kindle addressed to me that I did not remember ordering. I spent the afternoon trying to figure out how I accidentally purchased a kindle from Amazon, and when I came back from hanging out with Catherine, I told my parents, guys, you will not believe what I accidentally ordered for myself. 

“Huh,” said Dad very casually. “Did you get charged for it?” 

I spent the next five minutes checking my bank account and came back into the living room to announce, “No, I didn’t. Do you think it’s a mistake? But it has my name on it! what does this mean”

It was around the time that I started to sound panicked that Dad confessed to buying it for me (“I didn’t realize the mystery of it would be so terrifying”). Which was very, very sweet and slightly unfortunate because yesterday I purchased a replacement kindle for myself. 

So anyway, we now have a family kindle 

Me and Mom were talking about the kindle this morning, and she told me about how a few weeks ago, she got into her car only to discover that it had been mysteriously cleaned.

“But who would do this?” she said to my father who said he was sure he had no idea. “A student? A stranger? Someone who broke into my car to steal it but felt bad about how dirty it was? WHO??”

Eventually Dad was like, “Honey. It was clearly me.”

Poor Dad just wants to be a man who expresses his love through silent actions, but his family consists of panicked, suspicious women who apparently are very sure that strangers will ominously do nice things for us