philosopher’s stone: pince brandishes a feather duster at harry because he stands in the library for more than a minute without checking out a book. her intolerance for loitering and irreverence for pint-size celebrities delights me. (7/10)
chamber of secrets: looks like an “underfed vulture” and is constantly suspicious. stalks the library shelves like a righteous bird of prey. love it (8/10)
prisoner of azkaban: no mention because although hermione basically lives in the library this year apparently irma’s shenanigans were not notable enough to make the cut. she, as well as the reader, is robbed. (0/10)
goblet of fire: kicks harry out of the library at eight o’clock sharp because not even the goddamn triwizard tournament is going to interrupt her schedule. all other mentions of “pince” in the book are actually just the word pincer. misleading and disappointing. (5/10)
order of the phoenix: makes harry and ginny’s school supplies whack them over the head because ginny was eating chocolate in the library. her justice is swift and unforgiving and i love her more every day. (9/10)
half-blood prince: harry and co. speculate about whether filch and madam pince are dating. hilarious and adds depth to her mystery-shrouded persona. pince kicks them out of the library after they talk shit about her man. also calls harry a “depraved boy” which is objectively funny. a good book for irma. (10/10)
deathly hallows: irma’s fate is unclear. was she at the battle of hogwarts? did she bravely charge into combat armed only with large books and a vulture-like precognition of her own mortality? i’d like to think so, but jkr won’t tell me. (2/10)
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