inertialreferenceframe:

grey-acefinn:

theflyingromana:

I’m reading through my D&D 5E books, and somehow I never noticed these solid gold disclaimers before??

Dungeon Master’s Guide
Disclaimer: Wizards of the Coast does not officially endorse the following tactics, which are guaranteed to maximise your enjoyment as a Dungeon Master. First, always keep a straight face and say OK no matter how ludicrous or doomed the players’ plan of action is. Second, no matter what happens, pretend that you intended all along for everything to unfold the way it did. Third, if you’re not sure what to do next, feign illness, end the session early, and plot your next move. When all else fails, roll a bunch of dice behind your screen, study them for a moment with a look of deep concern mixed with regret, let loose a heavy sigh, and announce that Tiamat swoops from the sky and attacks.

Player’s Handbook
Disclaimer: Wizards of the Coast is not responsible for the consequences of splitting up the party, sticking appendages in the mouth of a leering green devil face, accepting a dinner invitation from bugbears, storming the feast hall of a hill giant steading, angering a dragon of any variety, or saying yes when the DM asks, “Are you really sure?”

holy god im dead

5E rules text is some of the best tabletop rpg rules text.