genderists:

tranztaako:

lornacrowley:

lornacrowley:

who would win in a cage match between jude law in “young pope” (2017) and jude law in “wilde” (1997)

some things to keep in mind

jude law in “wilde” (1997): at his physical prime, lots of pent up rage, might pretend you’re his dad

jude law in “young pope” (2017): is the fucking pope

@genderists

i have a phd in this specific topic down to every detail, so here are my thoughts:

PURELY on a physical level, “wilde” (1997) jude law would be able to best “young pope” (2017) jude law in a cage match. this isn’t necessarily to say that “wilde” jude law is stronger than “young pope” jude law– in fact, i’d argue exactly the opposite– but “wilde” jude law will bite. he will scratch and kick. he will draw blood. he will fight dirty. he will channel his deeply-rooted nineteenth-century repression. the hunkier the man he’s fighting, the more he will absolutely fuck his opponent up. please see the graph i’ve drawn up here to the left demonstrating the direct correlation.

THAT SAID, “young pope” jude law has almost every other factor leaning in his favor. the sheer amount of societal weight he holds is difficult to best. “wilde” jude law is a nobleman, yes, but…….. the fucking POPE. not only that, but a HOT pope. the pope, whoever that may be, has an army of public relations agents whose jobs hinge on making sure the pope doesn’t lose the many cagefights he participates in, and they will go to any lengths to achieve this. a highly skilled sniper in the crowd, perhaps? “wilde” jude law will have to have the foresight and agility to plan his movements to be as unpredictable as possible to avoid the intermittent bullets. depending on your system of beliefs, “young pope” jude law may also have god himself on his side, which is, well, formidable. i don’t think even the most spiteful gay man of the victorian era could punch out an omnipotent unstoppable force. i will leave that up to the religious interpretation of the individual, though.

in conclusion: it’s up in the air. i think only jude law could answer this question with any measure of accuracy. however, as an agnostic homosexual, my vote is very slightly nudged in favor of jude law as lord alfred “bosie” douglas in “wilde” (1997) dir. brian gilbert. i believe his nails are sharp enough and his youth in full bloom enough.