24-hour breakdown of admageddon

swamp-wizard:

i wasnt going to do this but ive seen people who arent in dndj say “i caused the ad war” and now i have to do this because i need people to know when im responsible for something, fuck you. all times in est

• 12:00: rad @raddical​ notices a completely empty ad slot on mspa. because of the way project wonderful works, although the minimum bid is $5/day, the absence of a preceding bid means the slot can be had for as little as 10 cents/day. rad, me, and robbie @kidgecko​ (but mostly rad) collaborate on an ad, and we buy the bottom slot within the hour. the top is still occupied by some yaoi webcomic. we want the top slot, but arent yet willing to shell out the cash to take it.
• 2:00: @official-spec​ buys an ad slot. in europe/canada/etc, the yaoi ad is outbid and pushed off the page entirely, so specs and our ad share the space. however, in the us, spec outbids dirkjohn but not the yaoi webcomic, so we are pushed off the page entirely. after some “is it worth it” debate we up our bid and put the dirkjohn ad back up. for some reason (i think one of us matched yaois bid?) the yaoi ad is pushed off. spec and dirkjohn share the page for a few hours, but its asshole time in the east coast (the only time zone that matters) so nobody really notices. ad price is $8.
• 6:00: we get a notification that dndj has been bumped off the page entirely by an ad for the r/homestuck discord server. normally we would just shrug this off and displace the cheaper ad – but r/homestuck is a bunch of scumsucking racist shitheads, and i want them to die, so we re-engineer our bid to ONLY occupy the top slot and buy them out. r/homestuck immediately retaliates. this begins a bidding war that lasts 2 hours. note that at this time, ONLY the top slot is switching hands – spec still occupies the bottom. r/homestuck finally backs off when we raise the ad price over $200. the bottom slot is still $8.
• 8:00: rad makes an executive decision to buy out specs slot. now we have both. top slot is still $200, the bottom slot is $10.
• 12:00 pm: r/homestuck comes back for $220. dirkjohn still occupies the bottom slot, but rad sets up a gofundme to keep it online.
• 1:00 pm: its now normal person time on the east coast, meaning people are awake and starting to take notice. i, however, am an asshole, so im asleep. im going off of discord timestamps for this so my account may be shaky: someone buys an ad slot for their fanventure, and @loadgaper​ buys an ad slot to let us know that nobody in homestuck is cis and terezi deserved better. the bottom slot rotates between these two and dirkjohn for a while. the top ad is still $220, the bottom ad is $38.
• 2:00 pm: “its less important for me right now that dirkjohn is displayed, than that [r/homestuck] is NOT displayed“ – me, on discord, 2:04 pm est. we buy out the top slot, but instead of getting knocked off the site entirely, r/homestuck gets pushed to the bottom. after some debate we decide to let it stay there, because at this point we still know the fear of god and dont want to drive the price up something crazy. additionally, somebody buys a leaderboard ad somewhere on the site for this at less than a dollar. i didnt monitor the leaderboards after this so im not sure if anything went on there. both slots are now over $220.
• 3:00 pm: r/homestuck rescinds their bids entirely. because of the way project wonderful works, prices are now WAY down – were paying only slightly more than the second-highest bidders (who i think at this point are still spec and the yaoi webcomic). both slots are around $7-8 each.
• 4:00 pm: @loadgapers ad returns in the bottom slot. we agree that it is a good ad and that, as long as it doesnt displace ours, it should stay. prices stay roughly the same.
• 5:00 pm: nell @spritepepsi buys out the bottom ad slot to threaten robbie. im not online at this time so im not sure how much prices are, but im pretty sure theyre steady.
• 6:00 pm: nell and robbie fight to the death. robbie places a textless image of ritsu kageyama for $40; nell retaliates with her original ad; ritsu comes back for over $50; nell comes back with a price so high she refuses to disclose it, which turns out to be $280 when robbie displaces it with this monstrosity for $300. dirkjohn is still in the top slot.
• 7:00 pm: nell rescinds her bids and robbie, an agent of chaos, places this ad for $80. it only stays online for a few minutes before nell places a new and improved version of her ad for $250. which is all well and good, except for the fact that r/homestuck comes back with a vengance, buying out the top slot for $500. this cannot be allowed to go on. they have to die. another back-and-forth bidding war ensues until dirkjohn drives the price up to $1100, and r/hiveswap finally retreats, because in addition to being bigots, theyre fucking cowards. bottom slot is still at $300.
• 8:00 pm: @kanaya buys the bottom slot for $700.
• 9:00 pm: approximately, because i was in voicechat and theres no timestamps. @kanaya maintains control of the bottom ad slot, but exchanges it for a vriskan ad. dirkjohn and vriskan sharing the mspa homepage is a landmark pinnacle of gay and lesbian solidarity, and the ads remain on the page for the rest of the day. we finally take dirkjohn offline at midnight.