im running a d&d one-shot today and half my party is my friends who are coming with well thought out, serious characters and the other half is my little brother, his friend, and his friend’s sister who just devised a half-orc, half-dwarf barbarian called dale “wide boy” spolumbo who is 200 years old and speaks pig latin. i cannot wait.
highlights from my brother’s posse
- dale “wide boy” spolumbo…. jnr.
- vadania hue’mann, the half-elf ranger
- vadania’s animal companion: taako taaco the battle squirrel
- dale is 1/1024th gnome. this makes him trustworthy to gnomes.
- vadania has crowbar proficiency
- dale is 4 feet tall and 3 feet wide.
- my brother’s friend doesn’t have a character yet, and we start the game in an hour.
please tell us how it went
highlights:
- the adventure took place in a carnivorous mansion full of traps but not a single person ever rolled to look for traps in the entire 5 hours we played and they tripped every single one.
- taako taaco the battle squirrel rolled a 20 and ripped the face off some animated armour.
- two of my friends set our third friend on fire because they forgot she was inside the monster they were fighting.
dale rolled two crits on opening a door and ended up kicking it off its hinges so hard it exploded.
- however, after two attempts at unlocking another door, dale rolled a critical miss on kicking it open and broke his leg.
- “fuck clare, is this going to be a fucking murder mystery?” – my brother, an hour in.
- my brother completely ignored the mystery part of murder mystery and just tried to kill everyone who was kind of a suspect.
- not really a game event, but i had to explain what vore was to some players and it was bad.
- dale played cotton-eyed joe on a banjo
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