Why Straight Rural Men Have Gay ‘Bud-Sex’ With Each Other
Interesting article on straight rural men who have sex with other men. Some of these men don’t think of their behavior as ‘gay’ because they’re ‘manly men’ who just have oral sex with other ‘manly men’ once in a while.
“As Cain [one of the interview subjects] said, “I’m really not drawn to what I would consider really effeminate faggot type[s],” but he does “like the masculine looking guy who maybe is more bi.” Similarly, Matt (60) explained, “If they’re too flamboyant they just turn me off,” and Jack noted, “Femininity in a man is a turn off.” Ryan (60) explained, “I’m not comfortable around femme” and “masculinity is what attracts me,” while David shared that “Femme guys don’t do anything for me at all, in fact actually I don’t care for ’em.” Jon shared, “I don’t really like flamin’ queers.”
“I go on road trips, drink beer, go down to the city [to] look at chicks, go out and eat, shoot pool, I got one friend I hike with. It normally leads to sex, but we go out and do activities other than we meet and suck.”
Pat described a typical meetup with his regular: “We talk for an hour or so, over coffee … then we’ll go get a blowjob and then, part our ways.” Similarly, Richard noted, “Sex is a very small part of our relationship. It’s more friends, we discuss politics … all sorts of shit.”
“The participants reinforced their straightness through unconventional interpretations of same-sex sex: as “helpin’ a buddy out,” relieving “urges,” acting on sexual desires for men without sexual attractions to them.”
helpin’ a buddy out
I always have such conflicted reactions to things like this. Because on one level, it has an element of genuine tragic-ness to it, that these men clearly feel same-sex attraction, but CANNOT admit that fact to themselves, even in the midst of admitting that they sleep with other men.
But on the other hand, the mental gymnastics that they employ and the convoluted ways they try to endlessly reframe it as being still Hetero™ somehow do have an air of comedy to them, at times. (I mean “bud-sex” REALLY?)
19 men is a comically small sample size, but this behavior doesn’t surprise me at all.
Just studs bein’ buds.