jumpingjacktrash:

toy-dragon:

writing-prompt-s:

A barbarian warlord, a goblin king, a mighty necromancer, and a dark elven high priestess meet for one reason… To play Suburbs and SUVs, the hottest mundane suburban family Tabletop RPG!

“Can I roll to have a meltdown in the middle of the PTA bakesale?”

“Why?”

“To make Karen look like a bitch.”

“i guess now i’m mowing the lawn?”

“well, you could, except your neighbor greg borrowed your lawnmower and hasn’t given it back, remember?”

“oh, is that what that was about. ok, i go get it back.”

“he tells you he already gave it back.”

“i go look in his garage.”

“he blocks your way!”

*dice roll* “beat a strength check of 25, greg, you little bitch.”

*dice roll* “uh… okay, you are now sort of wearing greg like a cape while you storm into his garage. sure enough, there’s your lawnmower.”

“i take the pruning shears from the loop of my utili-kilt and gut greg like a –”

“no! one more out-of-character episode like that, Lord Balrog, and i’m docking kyle jensen a level.”

“kyle’s a strong refrigerator repairman! he could totally do that!”

“NO.”