Aries: Don’t be going around just digging everywhere, as you might find your own bones!
Taurus: Being a rap master is a much heavier burden than most assume.
Gemini: You’ll find your other self someday! Be kind to them!
Cancer: Being able to talk to your past self isn’t as fun as you’d think!
Leo: The real reason why cavemen painted horses on walls is because they were in love with them!
Virgo: Be careful about what you wear when you leave the house, as it will determine whether you are predator or prey. Good luck.
Libra: Did you know you can take a really good look at the sun, but only once?
Scorpio: In several studies, DnD has proven to be dangerous, and is actually outlawed in several states! You just never find out which ones until it is too late.
Saggitarius: There is a giant horse on your porch. Go look before he runs away.
Capricorn: Sometimes dressing like a complete fool will make your terrible actions seem comedic, try it!
Aquarius: Killing people’s parents for a living is a valid job!
Pisces: Few can converse with the inscrutable elritch gods. Are you one of them?
Is this fucking homestuck
IT FUCKING IS HOMESTUCK AND ITS SO WELL DONE IM ACTUALLY IMPRESSED
Honestly, Homestuck has straight-up co-opted the Zodiac at this point. Even if something wasn’t intended to be Homestuck, it just is.
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