I googled “how many eggs are too many” because I’m struggling to keep up with the output from my beloved hens, and after some searching I found a story about a guy in the late 19th century who decided – “without medical advice” – to live on nothing but eggs
Something I think is often unappreciated about D&D is the sheer lengths it’s willing to go to in order to make sure every kind of dragon – and it has rather a lot! – has a unique breath weapon. Anybody who’s played a D&D-inspired JRPG will be familiar with the standard options: some dragons breathe fire, others breathe ice, other shoot lightning out of their mouths, and so forth. Then we get to these guys:
Amethyst dragons hork up an enormous gemstone that can be spit with pinpoint accuracy up to 75 feet, and explodes on impact with a sixty-foot blast radius
Black dragons just fire-hose a sixty-foot-long stream powerful acid out of their mouths, like HWAAARRRF
Brass dragons exhale either a stream of blisteringly hot air, or a jet of narcotic gas that puts living targets to sleep
Bronze dragons can spit lightning bolts, or alternatively exhale a mind-altering gas that compels people to run away
Copper dragons also have the acid-barf option, or they can exhale a gas that slows down time in the affected area
Crystal dragons exhale a spray of razor-sharp shards, which is expected, but the shards also glow brightly, forcing anyone in the area to save versus blindness
Emerald dragons just scream really loudly
Fairy dragons burp up a cloud of euphoria gas that inflicts no damage, but makes everyone in the targeted area high
Green dragons huff deadly clouds of chlorine gas
Mercury dragons shoot giant lasers
Sapphire dragons have a sound-based breath weapon, like their emerald counterparts, but theirs is an ultrasonic “brown note” that causes psychological as well as physical damage
Steel dragons exhale a deadly poison, with the twist that the vapour always fills a perfectly cube-shaped volume, regardless of surrounding barriers; the dragon can exercise perfect control over the cube’s dimensions
Topaz dragons have a reverse breath weapon that sucks water out of anything in the targeted area, inducing dehydration in living victims
beta kids spaceship au: john is the captain who hardly ever tells anyone what to do and spends most of his time fucking around making star trek references and hanging out on the hull. rose is the first mate and navigator who actually runs the spaceship, but she has a weekly existential crisis and jade has to take over for her. dave is the communications officer who dicks around at the comms station playing mid-2000s hip hop on the frequency that’s supposed to be reserved for first contact. jade is the medical officer who keeps the whole place together by sheer willpower and fixes everything when it all goes to shit.
alpha kids spaceship au: they all die in the first week because an emergency happens and none of them talk to each other about it
