landofsomethingsomething:

Dirk: *nervously spouts off ten thousand words about the simulation problem, the inability of the human mind to truly experience anything objectively and the classical philosophical debate of what truly constitutes reality and free will, fully aware that dave has completely tuned him out, yet unable to stop because he recognizes he looks like an idiot and is determined that his next sentence will fix it even though he knows it absolutely will not*

Dave: cool but I actually subscribe exclusively to the philosophical school of updog, it’s pretty intense

Dirk: *has extensively researched historical memes and knows exactly what updog is, and is now faced with a completely unsolveable dilemma, does he walk right into the obvious set up and ask, innocently, what’s updog, and allow dave to cheerfully slam dunk him into a garbage can? if so can he pull it off casually enough that dave will think he didnt know exactly what he was doing? or will Dave see through it and be insulted by what he perceives as patronizing behavior? should he explain that actually he knows what updog is and just put all his cards on the table for the sake of honesty? Fuck no that’s totally awful that is so goddamn uncool. Do we divert the conversation onto something else? Pretend he didn’t hear him? FUCK*