musterni-illustrates:

musterni-illustrates:

musterni-illustrates:

musterni-illustrates:

musterni-illustrates:

i worked at a giftshop that sold replica swords from t.v. and film once and my most vivid memory of it is the guy who would come in once a month FIRST THING IN THE MORNING wearing sunglasses regardless of the time of year and would spend an hour talking to me about how he practiced with his swords in his backyard

and then he wanted to go over all the gemstones in the shop and talk about their reiki properties

sometimes he’d buy a sword and i’d make all my sales for the day right there and then

wonder how he’s doin

casually remembering more about sword guy he told me he was a time traveller

this is the same job where we sold 15 swords to a couple for a furry wedding

the more time i spend away from this job the more convinced i am that i hallucinated more than half of it but i have coworkers that can corroborate my stories and that’s…… a lot

we sold these tiny frogs (“african dwarf frogs”?) in these ittybitty environments (which were obviously inappropriate and probably terrible for them) and about an hour of my day was devoted to checking all the tiny tanks for any grey froggies that went belly-up, we had 1 case of what i’m pretty sure was attempted froggy cannibalism followed by death, and one time our entire shipment of frogs just showed up dead and it was p tragic

we also sold man-candles, wine glasses, hot sauce, potpurri, dragon statues, sexy fairy statues, and salt lamps. 5 of the folks that regularly came in for gemstones told us our shop was haunted but i believe em about as far as i can throw em so you know what

y’know

what

one of my coworkers sent a guy off with the wrong sexy fairy in a box once and he came back piping mad bcs her tits weren’t as big as the one he wanted to cop