prokopetz:

prokopetz:

More dumb magic items for your D&D campaign:

• A sword that inflicts emotional wounds
• A hat that, when left alone with another hat, will mate and produce hybrid offspring
• Negative gold pieces

• A map that is the territory
• Armour that becomes more effective the uglier the wearer
• A living pocket-watch that never needs winding, but if you don’t feed it, it dies; it’s an obligate carnivore
• Goggles that put censor bars over monsters of the Aberration type
• An instructional tome in the secret language of ducks
• A dagger that glows in the presence of one particular goblin
• Angry shoes

• A magnifying glass that interrogates unexamined assumptions
• A quill and inkwell set that lets you write with perfect fluency, but only in languages you don’t understand
• Clothing whose colour and pattern are literally impossible to describe
• A magic potion that renders the imbiber both incredibly persuasive and extremely gullible
• An actual key to your heart