if elon musk implies that a single party owns the media and his entire fanbase in unison goes “oh its the jews. you’re talking about the jews” and elon doesn’t address that by going “screamingkermit.jpg it’s not fucking jews you piece of shit antisemitists” but rather sits there like “…… ;)” you don’t get to say that Tumblr is projecting by implying that he claims that jews control the media. had he thought differently he would definitely notice the replies and pull up another tweet to straighten things out, which he didn’t, because his fanbase realized exactly what he meant. that’s how dogwhistling works. wheres your Logic you weird reddit rejects stuck in the notes of that post yapping like you shit your brains out years ago
This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose
I’m not ready to be a single mom
I know shit about reptiles
I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth
Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer
Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care
I’m googling turtles right now. I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she’s a box turtle?
70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??
You a mom now
Text from stepmom “watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They’ll eat the eggs so chase them off”
I’m gonna fistfight nature
@mrswinterbarnes you’re not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow
I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye??
I don’t think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out
YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA
DAMN IT SHARRON
First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this
Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??
UPDATE
SHES BACK
NEVERMIND
ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE
That’s two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me
┏┓ ┃┃╱╲ In this ┃╱╱╲╲ house ╱╱╭╮╲╲ we love ▔▏┗┛▕▔ & appreciate ╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲ TRANS WOMEN OF COLOR WHO MADE PRIDE MONTH POSSIBLE ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲ ▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
hi-ho, bunjy here! it’s time for another installment of Weird Biology, and today I’m going to introduce you to a creature that looks like it flopped awkwardly out of a Lisa Frank concept art book.
meet the Amazonian River Dolphin, or Boto!
he’s Boto’ mess you up if you don’t stop laughing
Botos are the world’s most numerous river dolphin. (yes, river dolphins are totally a thing. weird, right?) they flop around obnoxiously in rivers throughout much of South America, though most of them live in or around the Amazon basin.
they are also the word’s largest river dolphin, with males reaching lengths of well over eight feet and weights of over 400 pounds, which places them firmly in the category of “animal I would not fistfight under any circumstances”
they don’t even have fists and I still wouldn’t
the Boto is also a variation of pink colloquially referred to as Rubbery Bubblegum Blast by scientists (or it will be, as soon as I can locate those scientists. they’re tricky bastards).
surprisingly, the Boto actually starts life grey and transitions to pink as it gets older and scrapes itself up a bunch by running into things and getting into slapfights with other dolphins.
yes, that’s actually why. I still think it looks like a barbie accessory
the Boto is well-adapted for river life, to the point where they’ve become mildly upsetting to look at. unlike their sleek badass ocean cousins, Botos are floppy flappy twisty turny blob creatures. their soft, flexible bodies allow them to navigate between tree roots and rocks like disjointed but effective muppets. they are also one of the only types of cetacean to have a functional neck, rather than the fused vertebrae most of them have to deal with. this is 1000% more disturbing than it sounds.
THIS IS VISCERALLY UPSETTING.
we’re just going to take a little bit of a break for a montage here because:
1) HOLY FUCK, and 2) JESUS FUCKING CHRIST LOOK AT IT. LOOK.
because of their muddy muddy river life, Botos have terrible eyesight and rely on their sonar to find prey. and they eat a wide variety of prey- from fish, to some other, slightly different fish.
despite this, Botos are a common sight in the rivers of South America, and are offered many protections across their range (probably due to that one legend that says that if you look one in the eyes, you will have nightmares for the rest of your life)
it’s the face, it’s gotta be
it just goes to show, there are many different ways to succeed, and no metric for success. you can always do well if you work with what you’ve got (and also have nightmare eyes).
