jumpboy-rembrandt:

jumpboy-rembrandt:

BUREAU OF BALANCE — HUMAN RESOURCES: COMPLAINT FORM

COMPLAINANT: Taako, You Know, From TV

PERSON(S) INVOLVED IN COMPLAINT: Fucking Magnus Fucking Burnsides and Merle Fucking Hitower Highchurch

SUBJECT OF COMPLAINT: Wash even one goddamn thing you absolute animals. I swear to Pan, the dishes have developed their own distinct biome. I stepped on a pile of clothes yesterday and they squished.

DAMAGES CAUSED: A pair of perfectly good socks, 3d10 psychic damage, countless items I have foolishly put down assuming they wouldn’t be ABSORBED by the ORGANIC MATTER covering every surface of the common room!!!!!

ACTIONS TAKEN: I don’t think this is strictly an HR matter, Taako. Last week you filed a report because Merle ate your chips. Yesterday was because Magnus didn’t take out the trash. Please stop filing these, and maybe try speaking to them. –Brad

BUREAU OF BALANCE — HUMAN RESOURCES: COMPLAINT FORM

COMPLAINANT: Taako, You Know, From TV

PERSON(S) INVOLVED IN COMPLAINT: Brad Bradson, useless employee