wizardlogic:

Filch has a doctorate in art conservation and has definitely read Hogwarts A History

Actaully speaking of PoA, can we fuckin talk about Filch and his art credentials?

The portrait of the fat lady gets slashed and Dumbledore hands her off to Filch to get restored?

AND FILCH DOES IT, AND DOES IT WELL?

The next time we see her there is NO mention of anything like, oh she’s back but you can kinda see where she was cut… NO. She comes back in PEAK CONDITION.

Restored by Filch, who *has no magic.*

He restored this however many hundreds of year old painting *by hand.*

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH SKILL MUST HAVE BEEN INVOLVED HERE?

This 100% changes the character of Filch. Like I’ve only ever seen him portrayed as this kind of head janitor kind of character, movies style, but like. Why? Why would Hogwarts need that if it’s full of house elves? According to Harry Oblivious Potter, probably cause Dumbledore felt bad and gave him a shitty job but one he could at least do and still be in the wizarding world.

WRONG. It’s cause that’s not his actual job.

Listen.

Dung bomb goes off in a classroom? Long night for the house elves.

Dung bomb goes off in a 300 year old suit of armor? Long six to eight weeks for Argus Filch.

Fanged frisbee tears up an irreplaceable tapestry?

Filch.

Peeves draws dicks on a portrait of the founders?

Filch.

All these damn kids in and out of here every day acting like dumbasses and blowing stuff up when it’s already bad enough they keep tracking dirt and *breathing* all over everything?

Filch.

Now how about, how does Filch know all the secret passages? A combination of things. Probably paintings told him about some. You spend weeks restoring a portrait of someone who helped build the place which lives and moves and speaks in their voice and you’re bound to at least talk a bit, if not learn a few things. But many he probably found on his own, either by wit or by study- he’s gotta be entrenched in tr history of this place. If Binns hadn’t come back as a ghost Filch could probably teach history of magic in his place.

He keeps the place in order such that generations next will still have it, and said generations next show him no god damn respect for that. He’s bitter for a lot of excellent reasons.