prokopetz:

hielario:

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

I had a dream last night where I was watching a high school comedy on Netflix, and the protagonist’s horrible secret was that he was really a collection of random woodland creatures being directed by a fungal hive-mind. He was terrified that people would discover what he really was, mostly because he thought it would ruin his chances of scoring a date. The film’s narrative did not at any point address why folks didn’t just notice straight away that he was obviously a pile of squirrels roughly fashioned into the shape of a human.

More fuzzily remembered details:

• It wasn’t just squirrels – I clearly remember that the protagonist’s “legs” were raccoons, and I seem to recall that there was a badger somewhere in the mix, too
• Each woodland creature’s membership in the hive-mind was denoted by a perfectly formed mushroom perched atop its head, Earthbound style
• In spite of forming a unitary consciousness, the woodland creatures were also individually capable of thought and speech, and would often criticise each others’ performance
• There was also a bear that was a member of the same hive-mind, but didn’t participate in the masquerade on account of being too large; I don’t recall whether the bear actually did anything plot-relevant, or whether it was just there

Why the hell did the fungal hive-mind want a date. 

Because it was the protagonist of a high school comedy. Obviously.