Dear white people,
I notice you’re having a hard time describing your own skin tone.
Sure, you’ve got tanned, pale, freckled, ruddy, and so on, but those are all modifiers that depend on a basic understanding of what white skin looks like in the first place, and they don’t really deliver on the description of the exact shade in question.
Even your most specific terms that reference actual things – such as peachy, rosy, creamy, and olive-toned – don’t really offer a direct color comparison so much as a vague color palette.
I guess white people could be considered peach-ish. I dunno, I’m not really seeing it. This looks more like an inspiration board for a painting of white people than the actual palette you’re going to use.
White people, you are overestimating your pinkness. Also, roses come in many colors, including yellow, white, and dark red.
If your skin literally looks like this, you are either a vampire or in dire need of medical intervention. Even the most untanned bits of white people are not literally the color of milk products. Also, please keep in mind that using the word creamy carries connotations of “smooth-textured” and “tasty.” Choose wisely, white people.
And here we have the actual olives that “olive-toned” is supposed to refer to. You’re damn lucky I know what çislik olives are, because there are a ton of people out there who have only ever seen green and black olives, and have spent their lives really confused by this comparison.
Given how unfailingly you compare brown people’s skin to extremely specific shades of wood, spices, and cocoa products, I understand how important knowing someone’s exact skin tone is to you, white people. This lack of descriptive vocabulary for your own skin tones must gnaw at your very souls.
Luckily, I have a solution for you!
First off, I find paint swatch names to be very evocative! Why not go with “oak buff” or “cheddar biscuit”? In fact, you can even buy some and paint up a wall if you want to see what it looks like in real life! Please remember to include the paint number (and possibly the brand) in your description for clarity.
Next, are you sure you’ve explored the full range of oatmeal products?
Don’t forget, pigs are very widespread and recognizable! Of course, they do come in darker shades too, so you ought to be careful to describe the exact pinkness of the pig in question.
Bald cats are also a pretty close match, and they even have the right texture, especially for older characters! Remember, white skin is a very noticeable physical detail, and you’ll want to bring it up whenever you’re describing your characters, so it helps to have a lot of different things to compare it to!
But in all seriousness, eggs are probably the best comparison. As you can see, they cover a decent range of white-people tones, and I’m sure that with enough time spent in the freezer aisle, you too can find one that matches you.
Happy hunting!
My friend’s guide to solving the plight of white authors everywhere so they no longer have to leave their white characters’ skintone unmarked or vaguely described. Now white characters too can have their skin colour perfectly matched with a variety of objects like non-white characters!
(Also, that egg advice would make for a pretty illustrative story! “She was the color of THIS egg” with a picture of a specific egg.)
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This is PERFECTION.
I will straight up be using egg shell & oatmeal from now on for yt ppl in my writing. PLUS, eggs come freckled! How much more perfect could it be? And dead yt people? Robin’s egg dead. Or.. damn it, I know there’s grey eggs. Ostrich? Something.PS: None of y’all yt ppl have ever looked like proper(golden) alabaster. That’s a description of Egyptians, who are POC. The other type is inhuman weeping angels stuff.
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