WELCOME TO CANADA WHERE WE LITERALLY PUT UP WARNING SIGNS FOR NESTING CANADIAN GEESE
BECAUSE LET ME TELL U ABOUT THESE FRICKERS
FIRST OF ALL THEY HAVE FUCKIN TEETH
ON THEIR TONGUES
DO YOU WANNA GO NEAR ONE? “AWW IT’S JUST A LITTLE GOOSE YOU SAY”N O
THESE FRICKERS WILL CHARGE YOUR ASS IF THERE IS A NEST OR NEWLY HATCHED GOSLINGS AROUND
THIS IS THE STRUT OF A GOOSE WARNING YOU THAT IT’S ABOUT TO KILL YOUR ASS
ONCE THEY DO THIS?
YOU RUN FAST AND YOU RUN FAR BECAUSE ONE OF THE PARENTS WILL FLY UP TO YOUR PUNY HUMAN FLESHBAG AND KARATE CHOP YOUR GODDAMNED NECK AND TRY TO BITE ANYTHING WITHIN REACH OK?
WHILE THE OTHER PARENT, CONSUMED WITH BLOODLUST AND THE BURNING VENGEANCE OF A SPECIES HAVING NEARLY BEEN EXTINCT AND BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE GOES AND LITERALLY TRIES TO BITE YOUR ACHILLES TENDON IN HALF. WITHOUT FAIL THESE HELLSPAWN WILL ALWAYS GO FOR THERE. DON’T KNOW WHERE THAT IS?CONGRATULATIONS YOU NO LONGER CAN WALK OR RUN AND REQUIRE EXTENSIVE SURGERY BECAUSE OF A FUCKING GOOSE. I ASSUME THEY EAT YOU ALIVE FROM HERE OUT. THEY’RE THAT FUCKIN CRAZY.
CANADIAN GEESE ARE TERRIFYING AND THE SOURCE OF ALL CANADIAN STRIFE IN THE HISTORY OF FOREVER. I’M CANADIAN. TRUST ME. I KNOW.
THIS IS THE BRAVEST PERSON IN THE COUNTRY.
it says something about canada that your countries biggest problem is geese
i think i’ve learned everything i need to know about canadian geese in one day
GUYS, let’s not forget about the canadian goose’s evil step-cousin twice removed, the SWAN.
THESE THINGS DONT FUCK AROUND WITH YOU ACHILLES TENDON, THEY GO AFTER YOUR KNEES!
SWANS NOT ONLY ENJOY THE TASTE OF HUMAN FLESH, BUT ANIMAL BLOOD AS WELL
and im not just talking the blood of other swans, IM TALKING FULLY GROWN DEER
and you better PRAY the day one of those things come towards your boat
because it will be all over VERY SOON my friend
SWANS, TRULY THE MOST FEARED and RESPECTED WATERFOWL IN ALL OF CANADIA
These are the species who REMEMBER that they’re actually dinosaurs
These are the species who REMEMBER that they’re actually dinosaurs
yeah, swans and geese are pretty scary
but let me introduce to the australian magpie:
these things are harmless most of the time
however, in spring they think anyone who comes near their nests is trying to kill their babies
so they FLY AT THEIR FACE AND TRY TO PECK THEIR EYES OUT
they tend to swoop people when their backs are turned too the sneaky bastards
because they go for the eyes, head, and neck, and particularly hate cyclists, they can cause serious injuries including blindness
in fact there are official government signs put up warning people of magpies
also, as an added bonus, they are really common in urban areas!