the-ghost-of-caliborns-leg:

colorfulrussianfireworks:

if dave is self conscious of his red eyes, he shouldn’t be

he could go into stores and get a shopping cart full of stuff and then go to the checkout line and open his eyes really wide and be like 

“Y O U R  G R O C E R I E S  A R E  M I N E  N O W”

and then the clerk would pass out and he gets free groceries 

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