Gentle reminder that while the dwarves have loyalty, honor, willing hearts, and all the
manlydwarfly smolder you can shake a stick at, they are collectively about as dumb as a box of bricks.#when bilbo baggins is the brains of your operation #your operation is fucked #this goes for you too thorin #yeah you caught on faster than kili #but that’s like saying you caught on faster than a concussed duck
literally crying at those tags omfg
‘that’s like saying you caught on faster than a concussed duck’
i don’t know why but this makes me want a dwarf frat boy au like i’ve never wanted anything
like fili and kili are the really adorable freshmen everybody’s vaguely worried about
and thorin is obsessed with the honour of the fraternity
and gandalf is a grad student who looks 27 or something but is actually like 45 and working on his 6th PhD and supporting himself through tutoring, growing weed, and making amateur fireworks which usually don’t blow up in people’s faces
and bofur is the only one who knows how to cook
and ori once stabbed a guy with a knitting needle during an attempted mugging
aaaaand i dk they basically kidnap bilbo who’s like an anthropology major who never has anything to do with the frats and is a hard-core member of a co-op or something
and go on a quest to win back their like engraved gold shot glass collection that was stolen by a rival frat when thorin’s grandfather was at the college
(if somebody has already written this please direct me to it asap)
You have no idea how badly I suddenly want this,
LET THIS EXIST AT SOME POINT IN MY EXISTENCE