phoneus:

weirdos on the online: I want him to step on my throat and tell me i’m a disgusting boy

other online weirdos: he’s a precious infant fetus babby and isn;t even a real human being how is he so cuutgutute uwu

me, a right and proper chap: what a grand fellow! why, i’d make him some fresh baklava and we could practice archery on horseback